A Mother was Born...

What I've Learnt in the First 2 Months of Motherhood

I've been meaning to write this blog post for a few weeks now,  I've even mentally prepared what I was going to say half a dozen times, and this afternoon I finally got round to it. I put Noah to sleep, cracked open a can of Coke and started tapping away everything I've learnt over the last 2 month. I even managed to add pictures and make it look all pretty, and then I clicked something, I'm not sure what, but bam 4 hours of work was all lost! I wanted to cry, I wanted to sit here and vent - and the old me would have, but the mother in me came out - crying and venting will get me no where, and seeing as I am now the master of repetition (feed, burp, change, put to sleep! (repeat)) I'm doing what I've learnt to do best and starting all over again. So here goes, a little snippet of the things I've realised since becoming a Mother... 

Realising Baby Brain is Real 

Once upon a time, my memory was so good that I would probably have been able to remember around 90% of the post that I lost; having a photographic memory came in so handy during exam time and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I was a bit heart broken when baby brain kicked in during my pregnancy. I managed to get through it by making lists, lots and lots of lists, but unfortunately I now a) don't have the time to make lists and b) probably wouldn't remember to check it even if I did make one! Losing my keys has become a regular habit since giving birth, I would probably be worried if I didn't lose them once a week! I've ventured off into town or to my Mums without my phone, or purse on a number of occasions;  and Noah and I have gotten through our fair share of mittens and muslin clothes over the last 8 weeks. I’m hoping it gets better, but seeing as I have more things to remember/worry about now than ever before I don’t think I’ll be recovering from this Motherhood symptom any time soon!

Realising you will Never Sleep again 

Hindsight is a beautiful thing, isn’t it? In hindsight I would have listened to everyones advice and slept as much as I could during my last month of pregnancy. The truth is I didn’t believe people when they said I would never sleep again, surely a baby sleeps, so I’ll sleep when the baby sleeps. What I didn’t realise back then is that babies only sleep for a few hours at a time, and broken, fragmented sleep is as useful as a chocolate teapot! I read somewhere online that if you added up all the hours of sleep that parents of a newborn miss out on, it adds up to about 6 months of sleep - I’m not sure how true that is but it feels bloody accurate! Thankfully, we have now managed to get ourselves into a bit of a routine, hubby normally takes the evening shift and then the 5am -8am shift which allows me a few hours of kip. The night shift has somehow become my duty, so its not surprising then that there have been a few times in the middle of the night when I’ve been super exhausted, feeding a hungry baby, where my leg may have accidentally slipped and hit my snoring husband and woken him up! lol 

Realising you will Always be Worrying 

Have you ever had that moment when something hits you and you realise that things will never be the same again? For me that moment happened when Noah was 6 days old. We were still at the hospital, I hadn’t slept for 72 hours, my stitches were aching and my poor little baby was stripped down to his nappy, with an eye mask across his face and his tiny body under the UV light. He was crying incessantly and there was nothing I could do to help him. He had jaundice, and whilst everyone kept telling me how common it was, seeing cannulas in his hands or having to hold him whist his heel was pricked for a blood test every few hours was just the most heartbreaking thing to do. I remember saying to Fezan, “I just want him to get better so we can go home and I can stop worrying”. And as soon as those words left my mouth, something inside me clicked and I realised that I would never stop worrying, if it wasn’t this it would be something else. Is he feeding enough? Is he sleeping enough? Why hasn’t he pooed? Or, as the case was last week, why is his poo the wrong colour? I kid you not, you realise you are well and truly a Mother when you are scooping out poo from your sons nappy to put into one of those pots from the Doctor and send of to the lab to get tested (which reminds me, its been over a week so I need to get round to ringing the Doctors and asking for the results!)

Realising how long Babies take to Feed 

I might sound super dumb now, but I honestly did not realise that babies have to be fed every 2-4 hours. I remember when the midwife told me at the hospital to wake Noah if he was still asleep to feed him, at first I was just confused. I guess it makes sense, they have tiny little stomaches so get full quickly but they also have tiny little organs which digest quickly too. I feel like the first week and a half all I did was feed him. Once he was asleep, I would probably have enough time to sort myself out, pop to loo, get back into bed and comfortable before he needed feeding again. Being the impatient individual that I am, it took a while to get the hang of things. I’m use to scoffing my food down or eating on the go, so having to sit there for an hour or more each time to ensure he was full was difficult for me to manage at the start. I’ve opted for a combination of bottle and breastfeeding and I am yet to breastfeed him when we’re out and about - but when we’re at home, I stick on an episode of something half decent on Netflix and before I know it the 30-50 minutes have passed and I have a happy and properly fed baby!

Shop the Look

Realising that they Grow too Quick 

I remember my Mum telling me to ease off when I was baby shopping, she told me they grow so quick and that there was no point buying too many things - and me being the Miss I-Know-It-All that I am, I convinced myself that I would be okay. I know babies grow, but I was sure that I would get a few wears out of most thing - oh how wrong I was. I feel embarrassed in admitting that I still have clothes in Noahs draws which he has never worn and are probably too small for him now; I have two grocery bags full of newborn clothes ready to give away which have hardly been worn. He has changed so much over the last 8 weeks, its hard to believe. I visited a family friend recently, and looking at her 9 month old baby made me realise that as human beings we change more in our first year of life than we ever do. I wish someone had told me to treasure that first week, to ignore the pain I was in and to look over the fact that he was sick and just embrace every moment with him. It hurts that it passed so quick and I feel like I did’t get to enjoy him. Which is why even when he keeps me up at night, even when I have to change a super stinky nappy or even when he's sick all over me, I embrace it - I know these days will pass by so quick and a time will come when I look back and wish I could do it all again - so I’m making the most of it, the most of him, right now when I can. 

Realising that Everyone (Including You) Knows Best

The quicker you learn to smile and nod when other women (and sometimes men!) give you advice on how to raise your child, the easier your life will become. You don’t have to adhere to the advice, heck you don’t even have to listen properly if you don't want to - but everyone will have an opinion and you need to let them have their say because thats how the world works! I realised this very early on, when we were still at the hospital, and pretty much every midwife I came across had a different opinion on how I should be breastfeeding and what I needed to do. Some of it was useful, some of it not so much. But thats okay because we as women are varied individuals, our journeys are different and our babies are unique - so one woman's way of mothering may work for her, but it could be the worst advice for another Mother. It’s not worth getting into a debate or discussion with another woman on how she chooses or chose to raise her children - and actually doing so is putting into question her mothering skills. So just hear what they have to say, let it in through one ear and out the other and carry on doing what you were doing. This baby is yours, you carried him for 9 months and trust yourself enough to believe that you know what is best for him!

When you have a baby for the first time, its not just a child that is born, but also a Mother. I’ve learnt so much over the last 8 weeks and I know this journey wont be easy and there’s still so much more to learn. But the exciting thing is, I have someone to share it with. Because although he is small, and it seems like all he pretty much does is eat, poo and sleep, my little boy has his own personality and his own characteristics already. The greatest thing I’ve realised since becoming a Mum is that I get to experience growing and learning with my little boy, and I honestly can’t think of anything better! 

This is all for now, until next time.. 

Sebina x